FEELING LUCKY

Today I don’t have any furniture to share. This morning I got a call from the school nurse, letting me know that I might want to pick up my little one as he’s not feeling great. So I went and got him. He “only” had a headache and now that he’s home he claims he’s all good again and would like to play Wii – but really, he still looks pretty pale and I know something’s off. So right now he’s resting in bed, listening to stories and I have hopes that he might doze off at some point.

But my plans for the day pretty much went out the window with that phone call this morning. So after I had tucked the boy into bed and had read one of his favorite Bob the Builder stories to him, I came down and quickly looked through the blogs I read on a regular basis while deciding what to do with the day. One of the blogs I check out regularly is Kristen’s Blue Egg Brown Nest. She does very cool stuff and I’ve found her video tutorials to be incredibly helpful. And so when I read her latest blog post, I realized something:

There were days in the past, when I was still teaching, when a snow day or a sick day would have completely thrown me for a loop. I’m the structured type, I can’t do last minute preparations, it clogs up my brain. Everything needed to be done ahead of time – and I mean well ahead of time. I was constantly living in the future and my days mostly consisted of “what if”s. Mind you, this was when I had a “proper” job with a paycheck I could count on at the end of the month.

Now, there is no guaranteed paycheck at the end of the month. I’ve not sold a thing in January. My son is home and instead of being able to paint I’m on nurse duty. And yet I’m not worried. No, not entirely true. I am worried – as my husband would tell you as he just had to listen to me the other day going on about how things don’t seem to be selling at the moment and how I knew that January can be a slow month, but….

So yes, I do still worry. But not constantly. Funnily enough, since I started painting, I have a lot more faith in myself than I ever had while I was still teaching (and mind you, I used to get great student evaluations, so apparently I didn’t completely suck as a teacher). I trust that things will work out. I don’t have the answers to many things and I do not know whether this whole mini business will ever grow into anything more than just a hobby. But I do not constantly live in the future anymore. I actually enjoy myself when I’m painting and manage to get lost in it while I do it. I’ve found I like myself a whole lot better and actually give myself some credit for my work (which I was simply unable to do in the past). I’m overall a much happier person.

So no, today I can’t share any furniture. Today I can only share that I feel very lucky. Because I was able to change my life so I live a little bit more in the present.

And now I’ll go and take care of my little patient 😉

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